developing creativity, mind, relationships, and something you're proud of
30 lessons for 30 years
I turned 30 last week, so here’s 30 lessons from my life experience across creativity, psychology, relationships, and business.
I optimize for a loving, creative life that aligns with my values. If that’s you too, I’d love to hear your takes or lessons on these categories.
The Creative Process
Other’s creative process is not YOUR creative process. You have preference but that gets defined along the way. Showing up to work gets you answers quicker than thinking about the work. Show up for your inner child and you’ll know soon enough.
The more you create, the more creativity you have, the more apparent your style gets, the more you realize how amazing you are. Create at your own risk. You just might realize you’re powerful.
Your perspective of the world is your signature. You filter the world differently, and that itself is what makes you unique. Honor your difference by letting others see you for your individuality.
There are no rules, but at some point, you create your own rules to support your growth. Creating constraints on when, how, and where you create can help you stay in the habit or in flow, whatever you’re optimizing for.
It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to not continue the thing that was “successful”. If you care about developing your expression, you can make a sophomore album that’s different from the first. What’s important is that you’re making.
Remind yourself to have fun as often as you need. It keeps the joy going.
Building Your Mind
Discipline is freedom. When you’re creating the rules, you are exercising your will to create a reality that hasn’t happened yet, but will happen because of the system you put in place.
A disciplined mind only speaks when prompted with a task. Otherwise, it can stay silent. If your mind is yapping, doing extra rounds of thinking, that’s wasted energy that can be repurposed for action.
Overthinking is a barrier to building the life you want. Adopting a “I’ll figure it out when I get there” redirects energy to forward action, and increases confidence over time.
Confidence and certainty comes from acting in times of uncertainty. Action first, self-trust later. Attachment to certainty is a blocker when it comes to big dreams. Operate on a sliding scale such as acting at 70% certainty allows you to adapt and learn in real time to the 30%. If we want perfection on the onset, we rob ourselves from the beauty of developing self-trust.
Find role models that match your version of success. Starting with how you want to feel then work backwards to how that looks like in a 360-holistic lifestyle. It’s okay to pursue a definition of success that isn’t conventional. It’s your life, so prioritize what you value and let go of the rest.
Fear, doubt, insecurities, guilt, and pressure are all distractions. It’s useful to understand your tendencies, or belief systems that inhibit progress. It’s also useful to not allow that version of you to drive what you do. Act from your highest self as best you can.
Be skeptical of what you want and the motivation behind it. Is it a learned coping mechanism or a stretch in your becoming?
Form systems and environments that make desired habits or behavior change the path of least resistance.
Relationships that Energize
Your social life is a reflection of how much you give to people you care about. Inconvenience is part of the game. Reframe inconvenience as a devotional act to said relationship, your personal health and human need for connection.
Allow yourself to receive the love of others. That means, saying thank you then shutting up. You don’t need to return it then and there. Just allow yourself to feel people’s kindness in fullness. That is valuable for both of you to understand how meaningful the give and take is.
Say it when you can. If you have a compliment in mind, say it to that person. There’s no use keeping it in, regretting missed opportunities. Say it. That invites more love into the relationship.
Sharing ugly truths with respect and honesty is what keeps partnerships alive. You gotta say the thing for your partner to understand your inner world. And if you’re receiving an ugly truth, you need to listen with patience, openness, and forgiveness. It hurts but knowing your partner can tell you what’s difficult to hear is a symbol of trust. Hard conversations with kindness, while not sugarcoating your truth, while not expressing it in a destructive way… that’s the key. Sure, we make mistakes and sometimes will suck at communicating, but that’s the journey you go on together.
Friendships are glorious support pillars. Friends help you stay honest to you and choosing actions that align with your ideal self.
Friendships can be beautiful spaces for you to melt from all the fighting. They should be safe, life-giving, and reciprocal. Treasuring your friends as much as partners or family is how you develop your chosen community.
Become your own best friend. This means doing what you want, buying what you want, exploring what you want, knowing what you like/love, caring for your body and image, caring for your mind and soul… it also means placing necessary boundaries around less preferable tendencies like negative self-talk, overextending yourself, skipping exercise, anything that destroys you. Like a coach, setting yourself up for success is an act of love.
The closer someone is to you, the more patience and capacity to love you must show for the relationship to progress.
Building a Business You’re Proud of
Creating without sales is a hobby. Sales is the bridge between someone’s problem and your solution. It can change lives for you to share your work. In the spirit of serving others, share your creations and build customer relationships.
Do whatever it takes for you to believe in yourself. You believe first, then others believe in you. When your self-belief gets super strong, other’s belief is no longer needed. But it takes being on your side in the doubt, in the loneliness, in the struggle of stepping towards your dreams.
Believing your dream possible is a big part of the work. The other part is setting up systems that make it inevitable.
Allowing yourself time to get good. There’s a difference between acting on timelines and being attached to outcomes. Show up and do the work. That’s all you can really control.
Comparing yourself to people who are decades into their craft and business does not help. Place boundaries on these self-sabotaging habits.
There’s an option C or D if you look for it. Locking into option A and B may lock you into a lifestyle you don’t want.
A business can support the lifestyle you want. You’re not locked into a specific way of life by starting your own thing. Search “lifestyle business” and explore a path that matches you.
Give yourself the chance to make the thing, even if it takes leaving what you know. You’re going to die anyway, so decide what legacy do you want to leave.
Thanks for reading,
YUNNY
Got ideas?
My intention for Substack is to develop a community of people who value connection, creativity, relationships, and living authentically.
Your feedback and ideas are welcomed.
If you have ideas or topics you’d like me to cover, email your ideas to lovelypeople@yunnystudios.com.